in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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