There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
