that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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