They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
