i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize