Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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