when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
