I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
