i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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