why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
