Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
