OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
sex in a hospital.. check
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
