why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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