nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
