Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
