i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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