I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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