I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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