yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
