All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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