His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you didnt know i had herpes?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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