I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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