How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
They took my balls.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize