just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
