I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
