Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
