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• (503): View more from Oregon

  i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!

  (360): View more from Washington

  let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone

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• (509): View more from Washington

  With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  you had me at cake vodka

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours. 

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.

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• (739): View more from

  IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.

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