just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize