what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize