There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
