Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
