that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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