what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
