Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
