I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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