there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
