You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
