I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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