when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
