Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
