i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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