do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
