my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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