if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
