The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
