So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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