I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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