theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
