? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
