I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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