is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
