My hand turned me down
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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