The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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