Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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