sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
