It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
