Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
