For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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