I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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