he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
