I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
