Welp...herpes.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
