Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
