We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize