what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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