Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
