I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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