woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize