I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
