dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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